I have gotten into the habit of reading the obituaries in the newspaper each Sunday morning, I jokingly tell people I am checking to make sure my name isn’t listed. There are two types of listings; on the first page the listings are informational name, date of birth, family and arrangements, listings on the second page are more biographical, they mention accomplishments, honors and awards.
I rarely look at the names on the first page, I go straight to the second page, it isn’t that I am interested in who has died but what is written about them. As I read their obits, I think about how I would like to be remembered.
Last week my wife’s father died, his obituary mentioned his wife and family, his time in the military, and his work history, but not much about him.
At his wake, there were some tears but, a lot more smiles laughter and story telling. Children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews all had stories about Fred. How he started a fishing club with a disgusting initiation involving fish guts, and taught them limericks about the, “man from Dundee”. Camping trips, bonfires so big they could be seen from outer space, the annual golf outing (which still continues 24 years later) and more practical jokes and quotes than I can list, eighty-seven years worth.
There were no secrets about how his family felt, they will miss Fred, but whenever any members of his family get together they will remember one of his stories, or recite one of his famous sayings, and then they will laugh.
I didn’t have the chance to know Fred well, I met him after Karen and I had started seeing each other six years ago, his hell-raising days long past, most of what I know of Fred comes from the stories told.
Next week when I read the obits and think about how I’ll want to remember me when I’m gone I will think of this: it is nice to have a big fancy write-up about your life but will you be remembered a week later when the paper has been thrown out? I like the way people will remember Fred they will be telling his stories long after the newspapers have decomposed.
